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Actual quotes taken from employee performance appraisals

August 7, 2017

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As a manager, I’ve had to do my fair share of performance appraisals, which (as I’m sure the employees also found) was a pretty tedious and meaningless experience. Fortunately I left all of that behind me when I left Reuters in 1999, my last full-time employer before striking out as an independent consultant (now semi-retired). […]

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The Rise of Zombie Smartphone Users

June 12, 2017

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Apparently there is a world-wide epidemic of ‘Zombie Smartphone Users’, which I can quite believe based on my infrequent sojourns into London. A smartphone zombie is a pedestrian who walks slowly and without attention to their surroundings because they are focussed on their smartphone. I used to keep dodging out of the way of people […]

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Economics Explained

February 20, 2017

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Insightful, amusing, and uncannily accurate. Complex economics explained with the aid of two cows…

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How the EU Works

June 10, 2016

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With apologies to the original author, but I don’t know the provenance of this piece. All I know is that it conforms to my understanding (and experience) of how the European Union works, it explains it in language we can all understand, and (irony and pathos aside) it’s very funny. Subject: How the EU works […]

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Performance Appraisals and References – some ideas on what to write

May 1, 2015

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Stuck for what to write on your employee’s personal appraisal form? Short of ideas on what to write on that reference you were asked for? Here’s a few ideas (with apologies if you happen to have been the recipient of one of these comments!). “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and […]

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Misleading Notices

February 5, 2015

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I guess we’ve all seen them – notices that have used some form of strangled English to convey their message. Some funny, some weird, and some that defy logic. Here’s a selection: In a Bangkok temple: “IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.” Cocktail lounge, Norway: “LADIES […]

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A Teacher’s Nightmare

January 29, 2015

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This is  true story! A class of primary children started a class project to make a plant pot to take home. The teacher wanted to have a plant in it that was easy to take care of, so it was decided to use cactus plants. The children were given greenware pottery in the style of […]

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Letter to Mr Cameron

October 7, 2014

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I received the following via one of those viral/chain emails, that encourage you to forward to several people at the risk of having the Wrath of Kane (or some other curse) upon you if you break the chain. I’m not one for propagating viral emails, so I guess I’m due to reap the consequences! However, […]

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Could we live without polices, rules and regulations?

August 23, 2014

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We live in an increasingly complex world, where our every thought and decision is in some way bounded by protocols, policies, rules and regulations. After all, these have been developed by knowledgable committees and elected representatives, who have the benefit of experience and precedent, lessons learnt and best practice applied, to ensure that the rest […]

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The Best University Application Ever?

August 9, 2013

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Now and again I come across something so “off the wall” and esoteric that I’m never quite sure what to do with it. As a life-long fan of Monty Python, this appealed to my quirky sense of humour, so I thought I’d share it for the benefit of anyone else who thinks trivia adds meaning […]

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